The first reason why couples fight? A perceived threat or the other perception that the partner is being hostile, critical, blaming, or controlling.
The second reason involves "perceived neglect," or the perception that the other partner is not contributing to the relationship or demonstrating an ideal level of commitment.
When people have underlying concerns about a perceived threat or perceived neglect, they may be likely to engage in reflexive, emotionally charged behavior that can initially serve to escalate the conflict. This means that perceived threat and neglect should correlate with how couples communicate during conflict. Each type of concern is associated with a specific and distinct set of emotions and perceptions. To resolve the perceived neglect conflict, couples rely on apologies and forgiveness. And for perceived threat conflicts, they are more interested in gaining respect and appreciation, as well as a reduction in aggression. So the couples! why do you fight, readers who are not couple yet, care for these instructions.